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*************
************* I want to scream till I'm on my knees,
my throat is on fire with the taste of blood,
till I crumble to the ground,
and
then finally,
I shall rest.
*************
So I'm sitting here
watching some show which is supposed to portray some sort of "normal" good
Christian household, full of ppl who always support eachother, parents
which don't consider nagging a lifetime hobby, and other bullshit like
that...personally I don't buy much of it at all. Of course that's
just me. You can think whatever you like. -just the usual highschool
optomism
Talk dark to me
Tell me how you'd kiss my blood if I
were cut, lick your lips, rise your fingers
clasp my hand when it is cold so that your grip will sting my palm
move your hands up my thigh, give
me the sound of your struggled breathing
light matches and put them out with
your fingers
give me the textures of your tongue
let me touch you in the dark
Talk dark to me
whisper the pain when your throat is sore and raw
surrouded by your flesh,take me
where no god can reach
Drown me in the fantasical dwellings of fear and
wonderous deep thought
Scream for me
Talk dark for me
camping! love it love it love it(especially in the desert), sports (basketball,football,mudfootball,soccer,baseball) gotta love to get down and dirty, bring on the sweat, i love to be aggressive, art (not as much of an intense like yet still it interests me, my favorites are william bouguereau's The Proposal and this drawing by betty dodson-just a hint don't go looking at this one in the company of your parents for instance),poetry (like to read it, write it),being stupid(not into smoking a bowl or tweeking so this is pure man made stupidity,always nice to go for a walk some weekend night with a friend and talk in some bizarre accent pretending you're a gangster or something),French films or on a broader scale foreign films(a lot of French films kick ass and most of the time there's some sex in 'em too,certainly not a negative).......running out of top of my head definite likes, ah yes! sushi! gotta love that stuff, the best the best the best, kid yourself not with mere feelings of disgust-try the shit won't you-and some places have this great cabbage salad appetizer with it too, i dig it immensely, so yeah well i like sharks and snakes and all that fun stuff, like to hike, like to be outside, love listening to music always got the radio shouting,mythology isn't bad,sleep is the best,don't mind smut as long as there aren't real pics,thinking is relaxing............SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey
any maxxheads out there-give me info about where to get comic books and
posters-preferibly in southern cali,'course you can tell me of places all
around the country, just won't do either of us any good
and
Aeon Flux, got a tape of that, love dark crazy shit like that, got any
info on that tell me about it too
I got hurt again,
constant stinging from the peroxide,
my eyes are a
little red
So I will sting
in this game, I'm done trying to prevent it,
it's time to
welcome the pain
Run harder and
never shut my eyes in fear,
turn my body,
move my legs-only to run and never
stop
Forward to the
goal, cutting block of sticks in the air
slicing
downward,
clashing, breaking
the concrete-
I will see none
of this
Push and breath
and sweat, I will not cry, I will not fail
Harder, master
of my step,wipe my blood away from eyes
Silly to fear
the discomfort of flesh
I can clench
my fist if the sting is unmeasurable,
till then I hunt
for my cuts
Wondering at
the textures of your flesh
still not sure
if it is sanity that is increasing or insanity
losing myself
in an imaginery-based hunger
in this place
your faults do not exist, you are
not mind
but existence,
something of emotion
part of humanity
that warms, that slips beside you under flannel sheets,
brushes by like
satin,
velvet,
afternoon.
the presence
so much like the sun and hot color of tea
still and exhales
till satisfaction again nags
when once so
content
then you change
hands and trembles
this is not of sin
sweat tickles
down your sides onto mine
there is no modesty,fear,distrust
there
is only you and
I and I can feel things through your eyes,
what you feel
no time of dreaming,only
reality,no desire for anything besides,
reality I am
knowingly unworthy of,yet still I take with greed
delicious greed
*************
I created you
in my mind
I made my own
perfection
fault-ridden
familiarity
voice to accompany
my words
Adoring sunlight,
making whispers with your lips
Never leaving
until
You Left
I did not create
you,
you found me.
And as all that
is alive you rose yourself
and turned the
door knob,
looked up to
examine the weather
and
released me,
released yourself
My mind longs
to evolve you into a state of thought
I cannot capture
all you were.
Even if in the
security of denial-based daydream
You would go
from me,
if only
to prove you
were alive.
************
watch me, in the cold, in the endless
plain of desert floor, my fire will rip
the black
Surviving will be my forte
Alone without corrupt companion or passenger
Kill to eat, knife brings flesh away from bone
watch, see how fearless I am of the blood
Don't let me see you, don't change the
the feel of the sun on my face right now
going on, I will walk through anywheres,
with the sky, mist or dust upon my lips,
shadow or alone
and i will love the places I create, healthy
pastures of the mountainside,
little seas, the oasis in the million gardens of sand
I can scream till every tree is lost of birds in a chaotic leap
cut on my hand will heal each day
,recite to the universe(speak to the dead or
waiting for birth),
walk in the snow till blood
Watch but come no closer
if i see you, you will take me, and then
like seasons
you will go
without reason without
glance
all that you left me will weigh me down so that i can no longer move,
walk, run, never return to the place before you
and like babies last breath, i will sit
and wait
plague of sorrow I had never before known,
injected on your departure,
never learned how to destroy
don't let me see you,
don't ever change the feel of the sun on my face
If
you would be so kind, i'd appreciate some sort of feedback on what you
like or
dislike
about the page, but then again, you don't look very kind
SIGN MY GUESTBOOK!
or I'll hunt you down
and
slaughter you, feasting on your remains... "he"...
" he"... " he"......
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